Having a Bit of Whinge

London's been great so far, what with the job and Visa and a new car and all. But every now and then I think to myself..'WTF am I doing here?!? Some of the things that are part of the norm here just don't make any sense and it can really drive an Aussie up the wall. So here's me, off -loading some Britishism's off my chest.

1. Everyone walks/drives/rides bikes as bad as they do on the streets of Vietnam

It's chaotic. Just when you think people are going one way, they throw you off and walk right into you. There's no sense of personal space or consideration. It's all me, me, me. I remember Christmas last year walking around Oxford Circus (BAD idea) and doing the whole sideways dance with someone just trying to walk around them. Instead of laughing it off and giving me a sheepish grin like I was doing, the grouch started swearing off at me and being a complete dick! What a dick!

And now that I've got the car, I've realised the same applies to their roads. Traffic lights are weird and  parking rules don't make sense. Lanes suddenly merge without warning and people just make up rules as they go along. For such a polite society, it just completely goes up the creek with the anonymity of the streets.

2. You-right?

This is the standard version of their 'Hi, how are you?' Yet, it's not quite a full greeting and not quite a fully formed questioned. I'd usually answer with a 'I'm fine, how are you?', in which I'd occasionally get an odd look. Just say HI like normal people folks. And don't get me started on 'innit'.

3. Weather talk

It's easy to get sucked into talking about the weather. Usually because at this time of year, it's so bad! And not only is it talk about the current weather situation, English people love to regale you with what the weather was like this time last year. And the year that had that really bad weather. And then that year where they had a great Summer. And oddly enough you yourself find yourself talking about that long, cold Winter 2 years ago THAT YOU WEREN'T EVEN HERE FOR. It's bonkers.

4. Umm, excuse me, I don't mean to be rude but [insert completely innocuous statement]

If there is any a microscopic whiff of someone, somewhere out there in the entire universe being remotely offended to a question/statement/topic then the English will try to preempt this by inserting a series of 'beat around the bush' kind of words beforehand to deflect the impending offense. E.g. Our lovely house guests coming in and smelling Kevin's awesome cooking but instead of just going 'Yum, that smells great, what is it?' it went more like 'Hi, excuse us to interrupt, don't mean to pry, but what did you make for dinner?'

5. Bad English TV/celebrities

Eastenders, Emmerdale, Peter Andre. All these incredibly boring shows plague the TV day in and  day out. And to make it worse you go to work and people are then talking about it as well. I realise now why we watch so much American TV in Australia. Because stuff actually happens in them. We were seriously watching a show with our housemates which consisted of people on their couch at home watching TV and the point was that you were watching their reactions to TV. WHAT? Why?

6. Terrible Food

OK it's not all bad but sometimes you got to ask yourself why you're paying thirteen pounds for a shitty bowl of noodles when you know there's a delicious bowl of noodles in Cabramatta for half the price. For a country that's known for battered fish and 'hearty' food, it's been a dismal search looking for fresh, tasty and cheap food. The upside is, we're cooking a lot at home now.

7. Spitting

What's with the spitting? Everywhere you go, people are just hocking up their salivary juices all over the public pavement. One guy did it right in front of me as I was going by on my bike. Disgusting.

8. Bureaucracy

I guess because the country is so old and has so much history, people and the 'way of doing things' tend to get stuck at some point in the past. Just go to the bank and try to get yourself an account and you'll realise how backwards the service is. They just don't seem to have a proper protocol in place and people just  tend to make up their own processes as they go along, much like their road rules. Or doing tax! That's still an ongoing thing for me, 7 months after I paid my accountants  a hefty 200 pounds to sort it out. Sadly, people are either just stuck in the dark ages or a little moronic. Or a bit of both.

I was going to do a 9 and 10 but I ran out of steam. There are plenty of nice things to say too otherwise we wouldn't be here for another three years. But let's just say they better be reeeeal good after all this rubbish I'm putting up with.

Snippets of My Diary Part 1

My diary isn't an every day kind of diary. When I'm feeling extra philosophical or a little lost, I like to put thought to paper just to release the plug in my mind. I found myself reading through it today and wonder to myself 'did I write this?'. My own past thoughts inspire me in the present day and I'd like to share a few extracts here to again, remind myself in the future of certain things that shouldn't be forgotten.

19/12/13

Tired. Love does try at the patience. For it requires you to give so much. But would you expect any less from something that rewards you so richly? Like all energy in the universe, it can not be destroyed, just transformed. And if you want more love you have to feed it with your all.

I feel as if the love I give out comes back tenfold. You can never regret giving love. People are wonderful and deep down, we all just want to make a connection. To be accepted. 

Life is but a collection of memories. Beautiful moments. Sad moments. They stay with you the longest. They are the clearest.  Most things are fleeting. And memories, taken out of their original context, warp. They morph to give you different feelings. Often moments of extreme distress become comical later on. What was horribly disastrous at the time becomes insignificant. So rather than being swept away by that strong current, keep in mind the bigger picture.

'Keep calm and carry on'

This has become so popular because so many people need to be reminded. That life hurtles you forward regardless of what you want or don't want. Despite anything. 

I was asked at a young age by a close friend 'but don't you want to change the world? Do you just want to be one thing your whole life?'. I was too young to understand what he was asking me but 15 years later I find myself asking the same questions.

This is not a mid-life crisis. The name implies something is being destroyed. Yet it is the opposite. Something is being created. Your focus is changing. You awaken. You shed all the burdensome layers that you have worn and find that your true self is so much more  simple yet profound, aware. 

We always need to be evolving. There is nothing that is permanent in this universe. Perhaps it is easier to remain the same. Inertia. The resistance to change one's course. Yet why are people so resistant to change? Because they are afraid? Afraid of the unknown. When one can't predict the outcome. Yet who can lived a controlled life? And be truly happy from it.

For do we not live for the unexpected joys of life?

7/1/14

What will 2014 unfold? 2013 was all about transitions, the first brave leap. Sewing and terrariums, minimising and traveling. 2013 was a year of crazy activity. Now we are in a new year. maybe it should be a year of no expectations. There were just so many expectations in 2013.

Maybe it can just be what it needs to be without being all-consuming. Things I know about 2014. I will be living in London with Kevin. We will have housemates. I will be working on a casual basis. All these are guarantees and they are easy. Maybe this will be an easy year. 

24/2/14

Everyone has dreams. They're what moves you forward. You ache, you ponder, you grow upwards towards it like the branches of a tree. It nourishes you. My all consuming dream for the past 2 years was to be an explorer...one year into 'living the dream' I sit and ask myself, right, now are you happy?

I have very few possessions, I've traveled all over, And to be honest, I'm not. I'm still that branch, reaching upwards. But I'm at a point in this dream I can't get going, yet I can't turn back...I was hoping it would be more like my New York lifestyle, but with more tea. I've lost the thrill of the chase. 

1/3/14

Life in London is perplexing! I know I've move over here for a reason. But at this point I can't seem to recall it. Since landing 6 months ago, I've pined for the buzz of NYC, the ease of Rio de Janeiro and the love of Chile. I've often dreamed of the sandy beaches of Sydney and the taste of Cabramatta. Maybe it's because Winter has set in and the cold, windy weather has completely disabled any fun thoughts.

Six months and I still feel like a foreigner in London town. I can't seem to connect to this grey city. I'm managing, but I'm not thriving.