Friday, 11 January 2013

Being The Person You Want To Be

Inspiration comes from a lot of places for me. The people I know, movies I watch and occasionally from the fear in my mind. Sometimes I resent my upbringing, I see those rich kids with their extra curricular classes and dreams. They're the ones that become actors, singers, elite tennis players, artists. Me, I went to weekend tutoring on top of normal of school and was pushed to excel at school and school only. We never went on awesome family holidays snorkelling or skiing in some exotic location. But life is relative. I could of still been in Vietnam, a third world country with fewer opportunities and countless restrictions. 

My youth was squandered, as youth often is, due to a lack of direction. I was bored so I shopped. I was poor so I worked. I was lazy so I became complacent. At the very least I got my Veterinary Science uni degree. I did more than some that I knew, and that would have been enough.  Until  I met the love of my life and though we were young, over the 8 years, we have matured into each other. Like two trees growing side by side, we have grown around each other to fit perfectly. He is both strong and supportive and I would not have been able to move out of home or look for a better job without him. And he will be by my side on this next journey into the world as well. 

Having lived now for 27 1/2 years, its only in the past year have I really decided to be something. To devalue all materialistic possessions and to be someone that I was proud of. An interesting person, a productive person, a more active person, a likeable person. For others and for me. And to do that I had to strike a different path. I can't say what the actual catalyst was but it all happened after our 4 week holiday to Cambodia/Vietnam. 

I'm having a 'Flight Club' revelation, without the blowing my apartment or split personality bit. Lets see how  Fight Club relates to my story:

 'You're not your job. You're not how much money you have in the bank. You're not the car you drive. You're not the contents of your wallet. You're not your fucking khakis. You're the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.'

' The things you own end up owning you. '

'If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person? '

'All the ways you wish you could be, that's me. I look like you wanna look, I fuck like you wanna fuck, I am smart, capable, and most importantly, I am free in all the ways that you are not.'

Fight Club pretty much sums up how I feel right now. The freedom I long for away from the norm. I don't think anyone really wants to feel 'normal'. Us selling up and going isn't just to go on an extended holiday and seeing some sights and then go live in London in the same way we've been living here. It's about breaking from the 9-5, buy a house, have some children mould.  That life isn't for me and I now that I know what I don't want, its time to get out there and start searching...

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